tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ok so I miss him still Missy died sometime last night... She was dead when I went to get her this morning to feed her. She was too small to have been left without her real mom and I, as surrogate, not really good enough.... at least, not for her. I was sad.. but thought about the joy she had given me.... I know that seems strange.. after all, she was just a wild baby mouse... after all her eyes were not open yet. but she had personality.. and in the scheme of life.. she had a purpose. She made me smile.. and in that smile completely separate from the sadness of what could be my life... that smile.. and even a chuckle or two at her tenacity for someone so young.. she had purpose. and this morning.. waking as if startled and D's face as he opened my hotel door.. the last memory of a night's dreams.. desires.. and then I gave into the pleasure of thinking of him.. remembering the sound of his laughter at night.. in the dark. gods help me here... I miss him so. I knew better than to allow myself to remember. another great morning.. dead mouse and memories. let me throw my stones.. the runes have got to have a message there for me. 6:54 a.m. - 2005-07-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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