tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another path taken yesterday was a day,... Missy dies.. my relationship with J.. such as it was went the way ,ost of mine do... into distant memories. His depth.. not much there. I realized when he ended it.. He did not realize.. but when I felt that gut wrench.. I knew. So.. he understood a part of me.. a part of my life.. so he said. Yet, maybe I made the same mistake with him that I did with D... they know the words to say.. supposedly they are into much of the same. on the surface only. that is the reality. Nothing is real with them. Nothing but the physical and the moment. my runes this morning... telling me about a choice.. my choice to look back or step into the pathway of the future with total trust. I think it is time to put the past behind me. All of it. I understand the last few weeks.. the necessity of looking thru the scrapbook of my life.. but it is now time to put it back on those dusty shelves and shut the door. No keys necessary to lock those doors.. the memories no longer can hurt. So... I will make a date with T.. we will go to dinner and a movie.. and we will see what possibilites are out there.. not expecting anything as deep down do not want to take the chance of anything coming between me and the move.. New scenery.. new energies... the days go quickly by. 6:19 a.m. - 2005-07-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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