tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The deer as I looked up from my desk.. looking out the window into my backyard... there he was.. a magnificent deer.. about 10' away, looking curiously at me it seemed. Our eyes seemed to meet.. Deer have such beautiful gentle looking eyes... I smiled.. he stared for a few moments longer and then slowly walked away. I thought about that deer.. later.. as if we had communicated... as if I am to know something .. or remember something.... or maybe I have just completely lost it. and talking last night... ending things...remembering things.. keeping myself in a place I am most comfortable in. perfect time for all that.. Samhein... must remember, My runes this morning talk of fulfillment.. in all aspects.. as if that has already happened. Let's see... Financial.. yes.. I pay my bills but I am not what you would call financially secure dreams - I do not have my hotel.. my camp.. or anything close to what I want... I have not sold my house so am still dreaming of the perfect place.. and my soul still longs for its best friend. so what fulfillment?... or is it my connection to the divine.. the keeper of the universe.. my realization that I can not be taken out of the background and survive... I am a prt of the world... the hills, sand rocks water as the air that surrounds me. yes... "As above so below" we are part of it all.. and all is part of us. Fehu.... maybe just promises of mourishment... that what I need I have. and I guess.. I do. Fulfillment. but do I have to be alone? 7:05 a.m. - 2005-10-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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