tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my aloneness is alright the sun has not come up yet and i have been awake for hours. thoughts.. memories.. talking with someone last night.. trying to push me out into the world.. into life. he says I have withdrawn much more than humanly good and am lost in my world of "truth" he can't understand my "waiting".. not sure what he expects of me or even why... He thinks he is being my friend.. but he is not. I am not him.. the world is not for me... if there is anything I have learned thru this life time.. it is what is meant for me here, in this reality... and what is not. being with someone who loves me completely and I can love completely in return is not meant for me... maybe I am unloveable... I do believe that. it is OK. but not for always... just in this reality. and I am loved by the gods... I am a child of the gods.. we all are.. this reality is just a drop in the bucket in the span of our lifetimes... so I can get thru it. and aloneness is not so bad... well... sometimes. 6:39 a.m. - 2005-10-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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