tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- changes Samhein... a time of remembrance.. I did not go to the ritual last night... I had my own.. it was appropriate. There are times when we have to finally put our soul's needs first. Yesterday, was one of those days for me. This will be a new year of many wonderful events... I can feel it... I am closer to understanding and stronger than ever before. my dear D.... I sent him an email explaining... there is just no way we can repeat the acts of the past without my soul.. my very being... suffering... I hope he understands... it does not mean I love him less.. by the gods.. NO... you can almost look at it as I love him more... I want it all with him. his face.. that wonderful face.. not ever far from my heart or mind.. and his laugh..still echoes in my head.. my soul... his hands.. everything about him... even to the way he gets flustered... Yes, I love him.... But, my friends, I love me too. Who would have thought... Karen.. or is it Alex... or Leandra or Lucy.. Sarah, Whitney or lynn... Does it matter... I love all of me. I love who I have been.. forgiven actions of my past ... that whole lynn crap... more importantly I love who I am now. and I deserve more than a weekend.. every once in awhile when his social life is not all he wants it to be. Samhein.. how appropriate. 7:12 a.m. - 2005-10-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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