tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finally it is friday Friday... Thank the gods. What a tough work week.. and hoping today works out just the way it should. I hate having to rely on someone else's contacts.. for the responsibility to be mine but I can't control the events... I don't actually hear the words and so can't judge for myself how it is going to turn out. but it is really important as business deals go.. and my stomach is in knots and will be until I hear. I almost walked out of my job yesterday,... and then giving deadines to others and calling to find out where stuff was and hearing surprise.. like oh well.. maybe by tomorrow... no.. it doesn't work that way.. so now tonite I will have to work.. not like the stones did not tell me it was coming,.. at least it wasn't in my personal life...this time... but the tears still came... though my boss called and for the first time actually apologized. Cool huh? My runes this morning.. finally... the rune of messages.. signs which aid in the beginning of new life.... I have jumped from the precipice... I am open to all possibilities... where I may end up.. I have no idea. I want to fully let go... both to be able to do that.. complete trust in each other. and D has been saying the right things... but then again.. he has always said the right things until he was satisfied and then moved on... that is why now... it will be a commitment... and I will have proof.. my heart and head will know... there will be tangible things I can touch and see... that freedom to be me... he be he.. and it will work out well for both of us...or I will not get involved. I am worth more... finally.. I realize that. 6:24 a.m. - 2005-11-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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