tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a new start Happy New Year I thought I would list my Resolutions here and then realized.. they just don't matter. When the only wishes a person receives is from two people that I do not know.. what does that say for me. I mean.. it is actually funny if you look at it in just the right way... the person that said he has always loved me.. still does and probably always will.. not a word.. others.. people that supposedly were friends.. nothing.. and it isn't as if I haven't sent them well wishes. but.. total strangers who just from reading my diary know how much it would mean to me in my aloneness.. my only real contact saying there is life out there somewhere... they are the ones who send wishes. positive energy. I will get thru this... the tears will stop and I vow... I know... never never again. the saddest thing is I believed.. no matter what happened.. no matter how it looked.. I still believed he wasn't capable of that. well, I was wrong... and now.. well now... as the cold calm settles and the tears stop.. don't look in the eyes... unless you can face what you will see. a brand new start.... need only to figure out her name. I have a few it could be, 12:02 p.m. - 2006-01-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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