tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Betrayal I am always amazed when the ones who are so very good at the game of betrayal are always so shocked when it happens to them... that is the nature of their game... some people are betrayers... it is their pattern in life. and if you delighted in the betrayal.. the sense of winning.. or deluded yourself into believing this one person was the person for you... then accept the inevitable... you will be betrayed also... I was betrayed... there were warning signs.... past history of sooo many years.. though he didn't betray anyone to be with me in the beginning.. I should have known he would betray me... and it happened and I forgave... and he did it time and time again.... and I forgave and forgave. But he can't do it again... at least not to me. I will not allow myself to be betrayed again. And I am not saying I won't see him again and delight in the seeing... for I know.. whoever he is with... they betrayed... and I won't care who he would be betraying now. Part of my nature upon first hint of deception or betrayal is to walk away. He was the only one I didn't.. or couldn't... He was the one I should have. My head is high now and this is the last entry I will allow myself to delve into this particular past.. my diary is filled with him. But betrayal.. the word itself brings hints of rain soaked nights with the street lamp glare shiny on the empty sidewalks.. quiet... the sound of footsteps following. stormy grey skies... wind blowing across the inlet.. house high on the cliff.. betrayal. One chance... it is all anyone will ever get again. He has severed the knots which bind his heart. -Ashtavakra Gita 18:88 What a wonderfully simple explanation on how to move forward. 6:55 a.m. - 2006-01-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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