tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Only Time The start of another week... she woke lost in thoughts of Enya and Only Time... and those tears upon turning and finding the pillow empty... reality entered her existance. He was not there. I hated her then.. I hated her sadness... I hated trying to make her understand he is not worth it... I hated her for making me have to work so hard to hold onto her... and I hated him for having such a strong hold on her. I hated everyone who had hurt us.. I hated the opening of the doors.. I hated her trying to face the past... I hated her. and I loved her... she was better than all of us.. I would have hurt and maimed mentally if not physically all of them... words scream in my brain.. she keeps my mouth silent and smiles. she knows it is all in the scheme of things.. she says it is her sacred contract.. she says she will get thru.. but she cries... and I want him to dry her tears... to make her laugh again.. I want him to keep her safe.. to love her truly... to love her no matter what... to love all of us. but he doesn't and she is not safe and we are getting too strong.. she loses time.. and so retreats. Who can say where the road goes when the day flows... Only time. I hate her... I love her... I hate him.. I love him. And who can say why your heart cries? 6:37 a.m. - 2006-01-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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