tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- he was with me last night and I understood So who awakened me so early in the morning.. so very early.. I know who it felt like.. but it shouldn't / couldn't be him... could it? his touch from across the miles.. that touch that kept me close in ways even he does not know. but it couldn't be him.. I must remember that.. it couldn't be him. Yet his face floating in my minds eye and ... memories... and why this morning... is it becuase decisions may be made this weekend that will change everything... and would I throw it all away for one more moment... I see the old man shaking his head.. his smile loving and sad as he tries to see within my depths.. he knows.. it is as it has always been... no matter how much he hurts me.. like a child whose behavior is reprehensible... nothing can destroy that love... and it will surface time and again as it has thru out time itself... I love him dearly because he has always been and always will be part of me... we are from the beginning... but some days.. not being able to hear his laughter... or listen to his views on life.. or just hold my hand while walking... is more than I can bear. but today... I am thinking of him with the deepest of loves... for he was with me last night .. in ways not many would understand or accept... but he was with me. and maybe he has never left... in ways only we understand. 8:20 a.m. - 2006-03-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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