tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- so how is this day starting? Seriously, does he think making cutting comments on how much I have lost or need to lose or will lose is going to bring us closer????? and the constant references to an old girlfriend... and her grandson.. who he brings up into conversation ALL the time. The boy is 4... He was 2 when they stopped being an item 2 years ago supposedly.. so why the need to be sooooo close.. it is not even her son.. but her GRANDSON.. and I am tired of hearing about it... and his own daughter's 3 kids I hear nothing about. and I have stopped telling him everything about me and inside my mind.... how I feel.. think... how WE are. we no longer talk about much of anything... he thinks it is the relationship progressing.. It is not.. it is his disregard for exactly who I am.. what I enjoy.. It is his focus on only the things we like together.. but we have different focus points for even that. My forest.. a place of refuge and calm... my home spiritually and where I am the happiest. His forest... the background to the river he fishes in and the habitat of the animals he hunts. I asked him if he would consider going to the May Day Celebration with me.. to jump over the fire.. hand in hand with me. He declined... or rather had some remarks which shocked me... He knew going into this my beliefs were not of the norm.. and the list goes on... Yes.. we have problems... and words once spoken seem to have changed everything. and it isn't even because of D... as much as I wanted this to work out.. I can't be anything more or less than who I am. and who I am.... is just fine. and the kid is back to school safely with much anger.. and not sure why. 7:00 a.m. - 2006-03-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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