tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- life is what you make it the cold has finally gotten to me I think. I turned my thermostat down to 60 a few weeks ago. I refuse to have more than a quarter of my salary go to paying for gas and electric... That is insane. but always being cold is bothering my joints I think... and they keep saying warmer weather is on the horizon.. what horizon.. I am cold... just cold.. inside and out. my boss came into town... I met with him for lunch... the lunch that made me sick later... but he met me for lunch and gave me notice.. that should I decide to quit working for him I was to give him a 6 months notice... I laughed as if he was joking and he said.. he wasn't joking .. Virginia has reassured him that this guy is no one special.. at least that way and not to worry... but he wanted to get it out there.. He wants 6 months notice as he feels it will take him that long to find a replacement.. and train somewhat... I thought that a great compliment.. and the kid called... sick... I am worrying.. I think he drank too much at the party.. He says no.. of course not.. but.. he was sick... all night.. after he tried to go to sleep.. he got sick.. Now I will need to find a way to make him realize it was the drink, and I spent the night visualizing.. my hip feels better.. it will take a few more nights me thinks... and dreams of warm arms and laughter.. Of green forests and warm sunny meadows... of a golden sun and sand between my toes... and castles, intricate and time consuming.. it was only a dream.. or was it a journey.. or was it a meeting of two old friends on vacation from reality. and then a house.. near water and sun.. and I wasn't alone.. getting ready for people coming.. piles of books everywhere and papers and energy.. i can still see the sunlight sprinkled with the dust from the books as we moved and rearranged and brought chairs in to make a cicle of sorts... and thought about teas.. and little things to eat... and do we have enough napkins? and where are the little plates?... the good paper ones... and what music? I want flute and he thinks that might just work. and laughter as a pile of books in the corner falls over.. all his work in vain... and then his stopping in the middle of rearranging .. looking at me... Don't move he says... I laugh and say why not.. We have much still to do.. and he says... the sun is catching your hair and face just right ... I am reminded of a time. and in my heart I send him much love... I smile.. I am always reminded... I say. and his pile of books fall over again.. and the moment is gone. and who is that I feel so strong this morning?? Only one person I can think of that I have ever felt this strong. I'm glad I can still feel him outside of my dreams. 6:25 a.m. - 2006-03-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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