tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is not a good place to be could I be depressed? the bird's chatter waking me this morning, took me down roads already traveled and the sadness was another chip at the wall. I will not let this take me... the tears will not flow... I won't do this to myself again. and maybe it is all because what I have is not what I need or want.. only a bandaid hastily applied. I saw the sparkle.. his animation.. and I was bored. Don't touch me I screamed inwardly, as he said something seems to be missing... Do you want some water, coffee, tea? Laughing after he left... what is missing is my heart... it has been gone for some time now. and if it is companionship you seek... I do not want to fish for the sport... hunt ducks... My mountains and streams bring other thoughts. and the truth be told... there is nothing left for me to give... too much of me is out there in the ethers... with no waking dreams or hopes or expectations. sadly.... more alone than ever before. am I that unloveable?? is there no one who will want me for who I am??? it has become quite apparent in the last 55 human years... this time around.. the answer is NO!!!!!!!!! 7:02 a.m. - 2006-03-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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