tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- if I believe, how long must I wait. perception... it is the only reality. my fever broke and not sure how exactly I got that sick without knowing it... at least it now explains the unbearable cold I was feeling... and the weakness... and maybe even some of the sadness... How did I run this fever without realizing??? perception / reality. When I was little I would pretend to be a gypsy with a fish bowl turned upside down... I loved the colors... the sounds... the energy... in my mind, the gypsy woman was a strong being.. mysterious with much power.. and just a bit of the madness. Later, when I knew more of life & roots.. I became a druidess / fairy being. Still later I floated in the ether with the gods and other beings... the path a memory from always... hating my return each time. always alone. and as I got older and boys became a consideration.. I waited... I knew that special one would enter my world.. and we would dance in the colors together... the ether would welcome us hand in hand... our robes would keep us warm and our laughter would be the symphony to rock our children to sleep.... and I would be to him what he was to me. he never appeared. perception / reality. I still believe he is out there.. I have to believe that.. but I am just sooo tired of the aloneness. 6:45 a.m. - 2006-03-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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