tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will no longer be their pawn Oh the games people play. the old man found his way back to my dreams after a very restless sleep. I ws on the dirt road leading to his house.. I knew it was his road but it was much too long and there were so many deep ruts in the road.. abnormally deep.. and I thought of Alice in the Looking Glass... as I was struggling to crawl out of the rut.. a hand reached in... it was the old man. He helped me out and asked what I was doing... I said I was going to go see D... He laughed.. why on earth are you doing this and walking ? I told him the ruts were too deep to drive my car and that the spring flowers were so pretty now.. and I needed the time. but why he asked... why? In search of truth.. I need to know the truth... the connection feels uncomfortable.. much too strong for the way things are between us... He sighed... Can you handle the truth? I laughed... after the real truth of the story of my life... How bad could it be? He took my hand and we walked, quietly. I stopped and looked at him... I do need to know the truth. He smiled sadly.. Do you think this is the way to find it? If not here.. where then? Look inside yourself. No... I screamed.. No... and he laughed and my anger calmed... then what you are looking for is not truth... you will not find it this way... what you will find is confrontation. real truth you already know... suddenly I did not want to knock on his door.. no peering in the windows... the truth I needed to know.. I knew... and so laughing... I stopped walking... let's dance I begged... let's dance into the morrow... and the old man raised high his walking staff and the colors danced and swirled and we with them... and this morning.. truth... I need to look within. and truth.. the forest beckons.. and my new kitten Mylo sits with me looking out the window... we want to go walking but I have to work... it will have to wait. truth... I need to avoid those that tempt me beyond the truth. 7:09 a.m. - 2006-04-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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