tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- connections.. or not.. maybe.. possibilities? connections.. are they what they seem to be? again, the connections awakening... like waking up in another's arms.. head resting on his chest hearing his heart beating. but.. it was my pillow and this very odd feeling that somehow I was not alone.. no.. there was no one in the house.. well, at least no one I could see. I thought of D.. gods help me.. I did.. and wondered if it was he.. but I didn't wander there long... instead.. got up and tried to reach for the heavens.. left turn thsi time at the first star... and the old man found me wandering... not upset.. not sad.. but not happy either.. just wandering... the path overgrown with weeds and brambles and growth.. just growth of stuff I really never paid attention to the name of... just green growth. he asked me what I was doing.. with that soft gentle way of his.. getting back on my path... it has become even more overgrown since I was here last. He smiled... your path.... are you so sure it is yours and it is the right path. This time I smiled... this time more than ever... I laughed ... I understand the wildness of the path. Tell me, he said.. what is it you understand. the journey is more important than the destination.. and then I laughed... My journey needs to be more focused... not on outcomes or futures or what may be or time or space or what if's.. and so on clearing my path.. the toil involved will focus me.. for in reality.. it is only I ... the me's of me... I have stopped expecting we. it always goes back to D does it not.. he said. NO.. I shook my head... there is no D... at least for us.. we know that now. where do you plan to go now... I laughed... no plans.. wherever tha path takes me... but for now.. let's dance once again... to life. and we did and the colors swirled.. and in the midst of all the swirling and energy.. D's face, hey.... not fair... but I gtabbed his hand anyway. 7:55 a.m. - 2006-04-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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