tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and so the day begins the frost is not as bad as yesterday.. the sun brighter earlier.. it will be a beautiful day. the kid called.. I knew he would soon.. the Gospel of Judas very much on his mind.. I knew it would be.. His reaction... we laughed at that... we are so similar that I wondered did I influence in ways I shouldn't have while he was growing up? but it was his concept of a god and the recounting of Judas in the bible that had done it... we talked about our concept of a god / gods and love and possibilities and the great hoax perpetrated by those in control. we talked then about his relationships... I felt bad then.. he is more like me than he needs to be. He told me most days he doesn't mind his aloneness.. actually prefers it.. but then those others.. the days when he needs someone to go to the movies with him... then it becomes very apparent he is alone... especially when his group that he hangs with individually make other plans I understood... sadly.. I understood. He ran into a couple of his next year roommates... they wanted him to go hear this group that one of them played in... christian group.. and he did.. and ran into others that he knew... and he was fine.. did I do something wrong that he is sooo different? he definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer. before he hung up.. he said.. I love you Mom.. and don't worry about me.. I am your son and you have given me options and dreams and possibilities that many will never have. Thank you... Sweet dreams. but my dreams were anything but sweet and oddly I missed D more than I have in months. and the tears started once again. go back to sleep my dear... it is morning now and as the sun stripes the hill with color.. I will stripe your heart with ice until the numbness eases you pain 6:59 a.m. - 2006-04-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||