tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and who will make the decision sliding, finding the best of me to handle the day. I don't always do that well.. sometimes me, yes me.. feels lazy and the moment I give in to that.. there are always those that want to jump in & take over.. sometimes I think she needs to wake up... she needs to get back on the horse so to speak.. she needs to feel. but she sleeps.. so me, yes me... will carry on... for a little longer anyway... as long as the sun shines and waking hearing the birds chirping gives a boost also. I thought of D this morning.. no.. now don't get excited.. not that way.. I thought of the reasons why I shouldn't think of him... ok.. you can laugh.. this is me.. not she who sleeps.. but me.. and yes.. I can see the whole picture. of course I can... though not the picture he would like me to see me thinks, of course.. and today I will have to make the decision... and since it is I not she.. she would give in.. she would go and smile and play the nicey nice game... and it will be a waste of days and time and energy... I have much to do.. we shall see... today is also the day my sister has to go before the courts... she will go alone.. I have to work.. and there is no one else... she will call... sometimes it is only when there is no one, we each are able to find ourselves. sometimes.. of course. now my truth be told.. my aloneness gives me plenty of creative time. and ... that ain't all bad. oh, and NEVER wash a purse made of natural fibers in the machine... unless you want to spend many hours picking those same fibers from your clothes as the purse disintegrates.. truly... money down the drain. 7:18 a.m. - 2006-04-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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