tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- is the cause the means or the means the cause so this time.. no avocado and still frightening dreams. I daresay.. they are back. In some ways it feels quite comfortable.. that waking up frightened.. sweat making my nightclothes stick.. that jolt I am awake feeling... and the relief. So was it only a few years ago that was my norm... before the d-man. I suspect it is the loss of connection thing again.. but did I lose the old man? or is he there and I just don't remember... but if he is.. why these dreams? what is prompting these very bad dreams... not that I have time to consider or much less want to worry about that... but, they are making me tired and sleepy in the morning so I am missing the sunrise and it is harder and harder to laugh easily upon waking... and I, yes me, caped wonder find it harder to hold on. and the questions I need to think about... their answers as elusive as my turkey... I have named him Charlie... I missed him this morning... or is he dead. so I will finish this and sit quietly for a moment or two.. drinking in the sounds of the morning.. the hill behind almost complete in color... the sun radiant. and the deepest urge to dance naked in the colors this morning. hah, now wouldn't that scare a forest creature or two. and fresh blackberries in my oatmeal, simply delightful in a pampering sort of way... and yes, if I don't .. who will? Hah, as if I care. and today is the last day of classes for the kid... and he is sad.. where did the school year go? so I get to pick him up in 2 weeks... exams and singing for graduation with Chorale.. I have much to be thankful for... 7:10 a.m. - 2006-05-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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