tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Uruz - Is it the end or the beginning... or both? so all the kid's efforts were in vain.. the head of summer theater cancelled the season and tabled all talks... no more debates, discussions or dreams. The kid was devastated and angry.. because of 10 people who lived near the park. I told him his anger was misplaced. They have their thoughts as he has his.. it would have gone to vote.. it would have gone thru the process.. but it was stopped before any of that could begin... he did not speak to me for a few hours... his anger strong. the big picture is that he hates this area for many of the reasons that they will not have summer theater... we will not be living here much longer and he is not here most of the time now. but he looked at me... what has happened to you? what has happened that you no longer fight? I smiled.. a deep smile.. for indeed I have no fight left in me... if it means to lose myself in anger for things not turning out the way I thought I wanted. Maybe too many years of losing that fight... maybe merely the fact that I have taken another path... or maybe.. just maybe... the fight is there stronger than ever but I choose other avenues to work the fight.... he wouldn't understand that... not yet... but he will. later... hours later he came up to me and hugged me. I'm sorry. I smiled.. I know. and so this morning.. I took out my bag of stones... my runes and decided it was time... I had stopped throwing them as they always brought me back to ...well... to him. but sadness seems to have invaded some place of my psyche in the last few days... and I thought maybe they could tell me why.... and I missed them. last night I took a walk near a stream... just me & the water rolling over the rocks & the stones... many stones.. and I missed mine. and this morning my stone.. the rune of Uruz...Strength. I understand it well and why my sadness for the last few days..... Change... terminations and new beginnings. trust... there is that word again... my problem word it is time to rest in the cradle trusting completely in the processes at work. for as opportunity comes along, even though disguised as loss... I need only to seek among the ashes to discover a new perspective... a new birth. the sun is shining.. I am smiling.. the kid is still sleeping .. and peace reigns in my morning. the dark night of the soul..... is passing. trusting existance, trusting my own strength, trusting my own creativity. and I am laughing and my laughter mixing with the sounds of the morning birds chatter is just what I need this morning. 7:08 a.m. - 2006-06-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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