tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on the other side for all those who care when I don't update.. thank you for caring. I started this diary a few years ago after having found that one love my soul craved from my childhood... and he hadn't changed. He played the worst games with my head and heart and I couldn't accept that anyone would or could do that to someone. and so I started this diary... it helped me work thru what he did.. what I continued to allow him to do to me as he did it yet again... and again... and again.. I wanting to believe his words though his actions proved differently it was very complicated as in my dream world.. and in, according to my beliefs and dreams.. he was very special and wonderful and who.. yes.. there is still a part of me that believes he is all I thought him to be and more... but not in this reality. but this diary.. the writing down of who I really was.. felt.. experienced.. helped me get thru. and now.. on the other side of the greatt chasm of pain... looking back.. I realize thru it all he gave me the reason to search out much positive for which I will always be grateful.. and so did all of you.. and I can't thank you enough. and now.. well now... yes now... I may not be updating as often as I once did... and so to you.... do not worry. the kid and I are fine... and I will keep writing.. for it is my therapy ( the many me's of me have not disappeared ) and you will hear from the Alex of me, I am sure... )and when the old man appears I need to write what he tells me.. I do not want to forget. but I have dreams to dream and a life to live outside this diary... I will continue to write... just not everyday.. but thanks for worrying... for caring. Karen 6:58 a.m. - 2006-06-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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