tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- is it all good??? it is friday, after all it is friday.. a day I have always thought special... not just because it is the end of the work week... but from when I was young .. it was special and safe. a safe day... the father figure worked late... enough said. the kid is safe and with family in the city... I worried so.. especially when I did not take him to the train station.. I did not see him off... He was being picked up by his adult cousin whom we had never met...they had talked often.. I had talked with her.. I liked her.. the kid adores her.. but still I worried. but this is what he needs.. to say the goodbys to his dying father and to meet family.. look for the silver lining... guess this is it. She seems to adore the kid.. she is older... much older. Her husband is a big time plastic surgeon in Conn... they plan to see a play and go to a comedy club.. and a little outdoor cafe where they can sit and talk. She says they have much in common.. I am so happy for him.. maybe a little of the worry that there will be no one for him has eased. his father wants to take him to see a stepdaughter... from one of his very early marriages.. her mother was a ballerina and now instructs or did before she no longer could. Who cares.. this was a very very long time ago... and she is not even related to him... but the kid will be fine.. at the very least he says... maybe there will be people to network.. I laugh. I think I am angry about all this.. that the anger is making me sick... maybe... or.... I need to center and start the cleansing process again, me thinks... anger is not good. but enough of this.. the kid is fine and happy and I am looking out to the green... all the rain is making everything look almost jungle like and with the high humidity and temps.. it feels it too. and my garden.. I did not leave enough room.. my neighbor came to look at it.. miracle grow did wonders... there are still wonderful flowers where new gourds will grow.. new tomatoes.. the plants are so heavy now... the corn so high. looking out each morning brings a smile to my face. and as I throw the positives out... and think about all that I am truly grateful for... and wonder.. this morning.. this friday morning I will lose my self in wonder and possibilities... and love. love, you may ask.. why ... have you not been telling us it all? I can love me... and that is the first step. thought you had me there didn't you???? 6:41 a.m. - 2006-07-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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