tarkis's Diaryland Diary

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I do not want different

we are so different... actually none of the many me's of me fit into what he is...

but, yesterday we made it to 6 months.

and I still can't say I love him nor if I care if he weren't around... actually sometimes he seems like more of an inconvenience.

and then there are the other times... when he drives up with 2 air conditioners to put in my son's & my bedroom windows... because he was worried the fans would not be enough.... even though I had told him they would.

it was the worrying part... someone actually worried about me and the kid... and did more than repeat words..

he knows I do not listen to words.. they are meaningless.. I smiled.. is he a keeper? is he? and if he is why can't I feel something????? well, we know why...

it is still because of he and dreams.

and speaking of dreams... I spent the night in a waterfall... surrounded by the colors.. cradled in that great hand...

and then... something intruded, waking.. panic ... tensing.

for just a few minutes and then gone.

as if it passed thru.

it was not good whoever or whatever it was... I immediately thought of the green ... I didn't want it to leave a trace with me.

and this morning.. peace.

wonderful, soul filled peace.

8:27 a.m. - 2006-08-02

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