tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I do not want different we are so different... actually none of the many me's of me fit into what he is... but, yesterday we made it to 6 months. and I still can't say I love him nor if I care if he weren't around... actually sometimes he seems like more of an inconvenience. and then there are the other times... when he drives up with 2 air conditioners to put in my son's & my bedroom windows... because he was worried the fans would not be enough.... even though I had told him they would. it was the worrying part... someone actually worried about me and the kid... and did more than repeat words.. he knows I do not listen to words.. they are meaningless.. I smiled.. is he a keeper? is he? and if he is why can't I feel something????? well, we know why... it is still because of he and dreams. and speaking of dreams... I spent the night in a waterfall... surrounded by the colors.. cradled in that great hand... and then... something intruded, waking.. panic ... tensing. for just a few minutes and then gone. as if it passed thru. it was not good whoever or whatever it was... I immediately thought of the green ... I didn't want it to leave a trace with me. and this morning.. peace. wonderful, soul filled peace. 8:27 a.m. - 2006-08-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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