tarkis's Diaryland Diary

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I learned how to play the game

how easy it is to slip into that old mode..
.
most of my life I have been afraid to dream or to want or to expect. the disappointment too consuming... from childhood.

"I told you I liked comedies... You said you liked them too"

I do, but not constantly and to the exclusion of everything else... and what about what I have wanted to see????

"well you can go... I am not stopping you... I just don't want to waste my time in seeing that."

so that is how it is.

and then shortly after... I told you I lie... didn't you believe me?

Pause, no... you didn't ... I told you I will not put up with a liar.... never again... what part of that did you not understand?

and then he laughed... you're not going anywhere... you love me.

and then inside I smiled.. deep where no one, especially he could see... and the smile turned to deep laughter.

he doesn't know.... I learned from the best...

does he really think I meant it???????

and thank the gods, I learned how to play the game.

and last night my dance in the colors fulfilling in ways only one who has danced that particular dance will ever know.

you are never too old to learn.

7:11 a.m. - 2006-08-04

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