tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- progression - yurts and log cabins throwing out the positives.. becoming one with what is.. nights filled with dreams and confusion... an underlying premise thru out... my soul wants to love. it wants more than I am giving it... me suspects.. maybe that is why the dreams. and old friends reminding me... they are there... and we need to explore the possibilities. but this is the me of me's... explore the possibilities????.. come out of the secure coccoon I have wrapped myselves in???? and ten years is a big difference when I am the older... and I need to feel secure if I will ever feel comfortable with someone again... and how can I feel secure if I am always worried about the toll the years will take on me. am I being silly???? no... maybe because there has never been anyone that cared enough for me to actually mean it when they said.. we will grow old together. and how can I even consider any when I see similarities already? of course they would be there.. that must be what attracts me... but I know what those similarities mean. "but we need some alone time to explore what we could mean to each other." but that would mean to take that step of faith... it is easy to throw out positives... and sidestep the return energy. and then.. unexpected... an invitation from another.... after I take the kid back to school may be just what the doctor ordered. maybe dabbling my toe in the stream?? we'll see... at least he is my friend and we have helped each other thru lots of hurts... if there were any I could trust.. it just might be he.. will have to think about this.. for sure. it is nice to have options... and this weekend.. the kid's last here at home.. he has his play. outdoor theater... he will play a woman... falsetto voice ... they say he is quite good. Midsummer's Night Dream.. My favorite of Shakespeare's... I can't wait. so I am not completely reclusive these days... and my dreams seem to be supporting this.. and my dances in the colors more serene. I think I have progressed. Me thinks. 7:14 a.m. - 2006-08-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||