tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and I still do not know sometimes it is just a matter of knowing and the ability to know. why is the knowing so important to me? I found the old man last night in a field.. tall grasses swaying.. light breeze scented with night smells of newly hayed fields and forests nearby. he was sitting on a bale of hay... though the fields had not been hayed as yet... he patted the spot next to him and I sat. you are happy? he asked. I smiled.. I don't know.. I just am... in that moment between it all I suspect.. but I am not unhappy.. and I remember to send out the positives each morning.. and to not think negatively about any.. he laughed... nicely said.. but... are you happy? I laughed then... I seem to be happier when I do not think about happiness.. it is in the thinking that I realize what I may not have.. he laughed... and???? and I need to know your name... with much laughter he answered.... why? and why now??? because I need to know what to call you.... and he laughed that wonderful laugh... has it stopped our conversation? after all this time?? of course not.... but... a name is important.. is it not? so what is yours? he asked gently... well you know my name.... today? he asked.... your name today or for all time. he paused .. stood and held up his staff... look... and the heavens had changed... the moons.. stars.. planets... sun... nothing was as I expected it to be. and me... the aspects of me... and then the colors thru wonderful flashes of the heavens and then sounds.. beating of the drums... flutes.. reed instruments... music.. it was suddenly quiet again. did you know the names of all I showed you... did it stop your enjoyment or change who you were? of course not.... but I just wanted to know your name... to know what to call you... how do you call me now? I don't... you just are there and I go to you. and then his laughter covered me as a warm quilt might on a snowy day sitting by the window looking out. or am I there because you have called me.... as you do each time I enter your thoughts.. each time I am with you.. I am always only a thought away... and then he repeated all my names... and some I didn't know but brought a memory of times long forgotten... names... he faded into whatever as I was thinking about the names... and remembering... names.... like pictures and postcards... a wealth of memory. 6:52 a.m. - 2006-08-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||