tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another dance is coming soon so it has come down to this.. and it was my mistake.. that is when it all started.. I know it.. and when that was figured out.. so like us to immediately start to find the path of cover up. well, maybe not cover up, but shift the focus.. an explanation if you may, and yet it is the truth.. maybe exaggerated.. but the truth nonetheless. and that is where it started.. and that is where it will end. so this morning after a tense and quiet weekend... smiles... and laughter will greet the day. 3:00 in the morning trying to send out positives.. knowing that was the remedy.. yet not finding anything to settle on that would bring that smile.. that lightening.. that peace. Strange.. not even those memories of moments of complete laughter.. this time only bringing my shame. I thought of that.. how shameful I felt now... when at the time I only felt love and thought it was returned... now knowing the laughter has been taken from me. and then thinking... when was the last time I laughed with someone.. that open in the moment laugh. Hmmm... for that is my knowledge.. for that is HE. I understand and see the path before me that I must take... if only for my personal growth. and contentment and peace and to be able to laugh free with what is... not with what at. and so we dance... that very special dance. 7:22 a.m. - 2006-12-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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