tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- time to get back to what I know works the kid will be home soon... I will have him for 3 weeks. and then once again he will go on tour.. but my life will not go back to what it has been .. No.. I refuse. for the first time in a very long time... depressiopn I think has found an opening and entered. I will not tolerate depression for it is my belief that I am more capable than that... this is normally my favorite time of year and waking to thoughts of.. well, we can forget the decorations.. why bother.. is just not acceptable. and it is not the presents.. though the giving is part of it... more the thinking of what the person really is and then finding that perfect present. and the colors.. excite and warm.. and the companionship and laughter and lights... it is all of it... and though I have allowed myself to get to this place of nothingness / depression... it has been my choice... I must remember that.. for... mini-god that I am... capable of much... I need to choose much more wisely. I know when the path veered in the wrong direction.. when I denied who I am... WE are back... caped wonder needs to take charge for just a bit.. get the old girl back into the groove.. she is too passive and accomodating.. and it is not healthy for her. but in her defense... it is because.. there are so many of us.. we keep her entertained. NO MORE.... and so waking her early ( actually she hasn't been sleeping well so that was not difficult ) we went outside and I called to her the old one... letting her rest her head on his shoulder... She smiled... didn't take much ... and dreams began.. and where there are dreams.. there can be no depression. can there? 7:31 a.m. - 2006-12-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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