tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- so it has been about him.. hmmmm and the old man sat there, sleeping against the trunk of he great old tree... at least I thought he wass sleeping. I slowly approached.. he didn't look any different.. it, the time, the place, didn't feel any different but to me it had seemed ages since I last saw him. the sound of flutes, softly in the distance.. joined with the drum... it was dusk and just off to the side.. a fire with logs piled high softly warming. funny I hadn't noticed before. I thought instantly he must have been here long if he built a fire... I hadn't remembered a fire before. I wanted to dance.. slowly.. caressingly... I wanted to climb into that moment between flute chords and drum beats.. for I knew the next moment would be pure life.. it would energize my spine.. my thoughts.. but I didn't. instead I went and quietly sat next to the sleeping old man. I have missed you old man, I whispered... and I touched his hand showing eons of time within its creases. he whispered back.. has it been so long? Smiling, laughing... I hugged him... I thought you were asleep. He smiled then... should I not be enjoying the sounds and smells of life also? Why the fire? I asked.. Why not... his reply. and then he looked at me... really looked at me.. I felt his eyes penetrating... their blue calming... and I understood. to dismiss any as bad would be to deny a part of myself and all creation. red... the fire.. and watching it the orange flashing and dancing.. and gold... as much a part of the red as any... you have been having problems with your energy have you not? without red, there can be no orange.. remember that. I laughed.. it really is simple isn't it. and we both laughed ... loudly... and the sky parted and the colors streamed.. Jumping to my feet... Dance with me... and we did.. and the colors swirled.. and as they approached.. I felt their smile.. even purple, majestic.. seemed approachable. later, exhausted.. after the colors had faded and the flute gently rippled.. I've missed you... the old man laughed as my head rested on his shoulder. My child, I have not been but a dream away from you.. But I have remembered other dreams and have not remembered you. Actually it is strange, I have been dreaming of people that once entered my life... not even that I think of them.. last night I dreamed of my first real boyfriend from high school... he was coming to pick me up.. we were to go on a date, but I had no energy.. I saw him park his car in my drioveway and come to my door.. I opened it and said ... I am sorry.. before I could finish.. he was angry and said.. not again.. you will not do this to me again.. and turned and walked away. why am I dreaming like this? the old man smiled that wonderful smile.. better you should ask.. who are you not dreaming of and why not? No.... I laughed and exclaimed to the universe... No.. don't take me there. and then we both laughed... and I felt his laughter fill my soul.. caressing.. gentle... forcing out stale energy until my soul felt all colors at once. but he has been on your mind.. hasn't he? my laughter then was good... OK.. yes he has. Remember, you can not deny who or what you are... or what he is... remember.. and waking this morning.. I do remember.. and even understand. by the gods.. can it be.. can I truly understand. 7:53 a.m. - 2007-02-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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