tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what goes on in the night It has always been a comfort to get on in the morning and see his smiley face.. even though we did not speak.. most times.. just knowing he was there was nice. and then it changed.. he dropped hints - I didn't really pay much attention to them. last nite I talked with a dear old friend... he was surprised I was still single... and then we talked about the changes.. and why we were both probably single.. In the last few weeks I have heard from many about what really goes on at night in the computer world.. He asked me had I ever attempted.. I told him once a few years back.. with what I thought was the love of my life... via phone... and how creepy I have felt since knowing it wasn't true in any possible way.. He understood... He had also attempted.. and it ended yuckily. so we talked and laughed and thought about where we would go hiking... and about holding hands... and dancing in the meadow.. and the birds and animals... and flowers... oh yes, and healing hands.. I think I will not change and the search for a meaningful partner all the more difficult.. but at least now I know what I am up against and will just dismiss any that go that way... trust is such a difficult issue for me... made even more difficult now. 6:28 a.m. - 2007-05-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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