tarkis's Diaryland
Diary
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this is just the beginning
and so it began.
a couple of months ago G & I volunteered to work the Rally in the Valley Motorcycle event.. OK OK .. maybe it was in the back of my mind that I would get to see him possibly.. not that I was longing for.. nothing like that.. after all.. I was in the process of moving in with G.. my son and I.. still unpacking and getting my house ready to rent... OOk OK.. that is another story - another time... but.. I did volunteer at the rally... and then he came... I saw his bike and the "grandson" with him.. I tried to ignore him.. I didn't want the confrontation between he and G so I just went about what I was suppose to be doing and watched as he walked around the displays.. I had a great advantage point...he picked a time to leave when G had wandered off so he stopped.. He had noticed me.. and we talked briefly.. nice.. nothing major.. and then my first mistake... I did not tell G who he was or our previous relationship... I don't think I had ever mentioned him to G at all... ever.. Hmmm.. that is another thought process for another time.
and so it began.
first there were the phone calls.. at inapporpriate times - and then the early morning coffee emails.. just friendly ones.. acceptable. at least until I finally said.. No you can not stop by because I no longer live there.
and so it began
how could I be with another person... he has been waiting for me... of course, since I had not seen him for 2 years I should believe that?
but it began and now it has ended.. angrily and unhappily but he finally listened when I said I am not leaving G..
but I have made some mistakes.. I did not tell G any of what has been going on and I think it is going to come back and bite me big time.. you know where...
he is angry and thinks I have betrayed him... somehow.. actually.. he is unbalanced at the moment. Thank goodness G is away at his conference... but he will be back tonite late.
Oh powers that be.. shine on me as I lift my arms to the heavens.. to the source of all that is... strengthen my energies and let the orange of laughter fill my soul for much laughter will be needed in the coming days.. me thinks.
blessed Be
6:57 a.m. - 2009-09-30
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